The Good Enough Patricia

The perfectionist that I am struggles with being angry and failure. It makes my life so difficult to try to always please everyone, to never make a mistake and to feel like if I fight with someone they will leave me. No matter what I do, I'm always confronted with this feeling of helplessness and of failure when things don't go "my way". How many times has Mr. Beautiful been pissed off at me because everything always has to be "my way." I never understood it because I always tried to please him in any way I could. It would be so frustrating because when it didn't work or when he would be in a bad mood or angry, I would take it personally "what did i do wrong"? And it would end up being a big deal, when it could have just lasted a few minutes, half a day at worst.
It was this morning while drinking an espresso that the light bulb lit up: it's ok to be angry! It's written in O magazine. There is an actual study that says that the best parents are only "good parents" 30% of the time "leaving lots of time for failure". And the same is applicable to relationships. Getting angry at each other is normal; no need to freak out about it: "learning to transition between connection and separateness without losing faith is a great challenge." (What's wrong with being angry", O Magazine, February 2008) Check out this article: http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/200802/omag_200802_love.jhtml
To me, this is the biggest eye-opener. In the article, they call it the "good enough" response. All we have to do is a "good enough" person. Not perfect. Just good enough. Maybe I can become "the good enough Patricia". I like it. I like it. I like it.