Hot Flashes and Battle Ships

After another night of waking up every other hour in sweat, I woke up this morning feeling down.
I stopped taking Angelic (hormone pills, i.e. "get a grip" entry) a few weeks ago because they made me feel depressed and tired. I immediately felt cheerful and full of energy again, so I said the hell with Angelic. All was good for about two weeks until I started feeling the effects of menopause: major hot flashes. Not fun. Not funny. Thank you.

So today I was feeling under the weather from lack of sleep and in no mood to deal with crap. When I checked my e-mails and I saw this nasty e-mail from a director of another department about a project that my team had been working on for months. A project I was very pleased with. I immediately got another hot flash, but not from menopause. An oh-no-you-di’nt type of hot flash.
He had thought it wise to copy the entire planet to criticize it.
In this kind of situations, you have two choices:
1. ignore. Given the fact that my hormones are completely out of wack, there was just no way.
2. start an e-mail war.
For my friends who are not in the corporate world, e-mail wars are an absolute blast. It’s like playing Naval Battle. You have to strategize on how you can sink your co-worker’s ships, one at a time; or crème de la crème, create a chain reaction, sinking the entire fleet in one shot.
The first rule and key to success is c/c management. You want to copy just the right person and let that person do the work.
(The second rule is b c/c – blind carbon copy – management: to discreetly communicate your success.)
With a few years of experience in this environment, I’ve mastered this game.
So Mr. Director wants to attack me copying the entire planet, generating about 20 e-mails and phone calls, I don't think so!
I want to send just one e-mail, with one c/c. The e-mail, however, has to be articulated as follows:
1. Always thank for the comment
2. Address the problem
3. Regret that the problem has not been solved in privacy
4. Suggest a phone call to address any problem in the future
To make sure to get an outraged message in return, which is going to get c/c involved, add that you would appreciate an apology, not to yourself, but to the team who has spent much time and energy in the project.
Wait for the answer. Hope it’s nasty. And let the c/c strike. Touché. Coulé. Works every time.
This may sound exciting, but e-mail wars are really just draining and a waste of time. So I left the office feeling even worse than this morning.
So on my way home, I was reflecting upon what I could do to cheer myself up. Call up a friend for a drink? I have no friend I can call up for a drink. Go to the gym? No energy. Go shopping? No motivation.
Suddenly I saw this sign “facial & massage”. That sounded just right. I pulled in the parking lot and called to make an appointment. Two minutes later, I was lying on a massage table getting the absolute best hot stone massage I ever got. (The first hot stone massage I got was the worst and the only I ever got because the masseuse was rubbing stones on my tibias… So I had made sure to inquire if hot stone massages involved rubbing stones against bones prior to the session.)
I was feeling quite cheerful after this great hot stone experience when my colleague called to inform me that we had swapped bank cards at lunch. She had gone grocery shopping and realized it when she tried to pay with my bank card.
I had not realized it when I had paid for my massage… Oops, touché again.