New Self

It’s been in the works. It’s been a long time coming, and now is the time. I’m back!
To my surprise, I’ve been asked to write again by many friends and advised to use my creative power again by my acupuncturist. So when you are asked to write by a woman with needles, it is simply wiser to just do it.
I’ve decided to come back, but be aware. I am no longer Swiss Hero. She’s gone. She’s done being everyone’s hero, giving a hand here, a hand there, her brain, her heart and the whole nine yards. She is so done. She’s had it.
My dear friends have chosen my new name following my progression. Let me introduce you to my new self. I’m Da Bitch.
My dear friends assure me that being a “bitch” is a good thing.

Let’s backtrack to the time I stopped writing, back in June when I went back to Switzerland to have a second surgery for endometriosis. That’s when the metamorphosis began. It dawned on me that this fight was against myself. Endometriosis is about my own cells attacking my own cells. I realized that if I didn’t make a change about myself, the disease was going to continue spreading and the pain was going to continue haunting my life.
After the surgery, I felt fine and once again my life spun out of control just as it always does when I feel fine. I flew back to Boston, unpacked, repacked and headed to San Diego. Unpacked, hosted a friend, repacked, flew to Las Vegas. Unpacked. Went to a doctor visit to chase the pain away. Repacked, flew to Miami. Unpacked, repacked flew to New York. Emergency visit to doctor to deal with unbearable pain.
In the meantime, friends need help. Consequently, I give, and I give and I give some more.
And I’m back on the hormone treatment. For 6 months this time and with it, the realization that time is ticking: I have 6 months to get my shit together before the disease activates again. So I think to myself that I better put a plan of action together on how I’m gonna get myself to stop hurting myself.
As always, when in time of self doubt, I resort to books. Two of them literally enlightened me.
The first one is Inès of My Soul by Isabel Allende – a magnificent story of a woman conquistador in the quest of Chile. Her strength and her ability to love despite the hardship of her life (talk about living in a man’s world…) truly hit a switch in me. There has to be a balance between being a sensitive, giving woman and keeping self integrity.
The second book is Women & Money by Suze Orman. Although it is about money, it truly opened my eyes on daring to expect certain standards from people in my life. It’s about standing my ground in a non-violent, non-confrontational way.
It took me 6 months to formulate the new terms and conditions of my new self and it is still in development, but I’m pretty happy with where I stand for now.
Like Madonna says, “if I have to be a bitch,
OK.”

2008 calls for an interesting year. Stay tuned to Bay Street Rehab and have a Merry Xmas!